Can a pastor's wife disqualify him?

Recently a friend asked me this question:

Can a pastor be disqualified because of his wife's sinfulness?

The bible is relatively silent on this issue, so the best I can do is offer what I believe to be biblical principles in regard to this issue. First, let's lay down a background for the question:

Church Discipline

Church discipline is a planned recourse set by the church to remove a person from ministry or from the church because of sin or heresy. The purpose of church discipline is two-fold: 1) The bible describes sin as "yeast, which works through the whole batch of dough." (1 Cor 5:6). This means that sin, if not dealt with, will spread throughout the church, causing widespread destruction. 2) The person who committed the sin may return to the Lord and repent of their sin as a result of church discipline. The act of removal may actually be the most gracious and loving thing a church can do for the offender.

When a pastor is the offender

The pastor of a church obviously wields a great deal of power and influence, especially if it is the teaching/ senior pastor. If the pastor sins, church discipline works the same, but is carried out by the other elders in the church, or sometimes elders of other churches brought in for this special purpose.

Pastor's sin usually falls in 3 main categories:

1. Sexual sin
2. Monetary sin
3. Doctrinal sin

The first two require no explanation. The last is simply when a pastor changes his beliefs to the point where they no longer fall under orthodox doctrine. In all three situations, the pastor must be removed from their position, and almost always the church itself. Because of a pastor's ability to influence people, he must not be allowed to continue at that church.

Other reasons a pastor may be asked to leave

Sometimes a pastor may be asked to leave for reasons that do not fall under the category of sin. If it becomes clear that the pastor is overworked to the point of having health or family issues, those overseeing the pastor may recommend or require a temporary break. A pastor's first ministry is to his wife and children, and problems at home may require a pastor to step down as well.

The pastor's wife

As stated above, a pastor's first ministry is to his wife. Biblically, the relationship of marriage is considered sacred and ranks second only to the relationship between man and God. Paul says in 1 Tim 3 that an elder (synonymous with "pastor" in the bible) is only qualified to lead if he is the husband of one wife and that he leads his household well. The principle here is that a man first leads himself well (1 Thes 4:4), and only then should get married. If he is a responsible man in loving his wife (and children if he has them) biblically, only then can he be considered for leadership in the church. Therefore, if there is an unresolved issue between the pastor and his wife, that pastor should step down from ministry for a time to restore the relationship. The elders of the church may force the pastor to do so if the pastor himself does not do it.

The pastor's wife and sin

The bible teaches that the responsibility for sin is primarily individual. This does not mean that sin does not affect others, but simply that God holds each person accountable for the sin they commit. Therefore, I do not believe that a pastor is responsible if his wife decides to sin greivously, however, as leader of the home, he may be responsible to do what he can to promote the restoration of his wife.

What if the wife commits adultery?

Allow me to make this more practical. One of the ways this issue might become real in a church is if the pastor's wife commits adultery on him. The man is not responsiible for his wife's sin, but it may be the wisest thing to do for him to step out of ministry to work toward (perhaps) restoring the relationship. It has already been noted that the relationship between man and wife is the primary human relationship, and takes priority for him over church leadership. In many situations, the man may be guilty of neglect and share some of the sin with his wife. In others, he was faithful and there was simple rebellion on his wife's part. Because there are unlimited possibilities here, the elders overseeing the pastor should immediately look into the situation to determine:

1. Whether the situation can be resolved. Is the wife willing to reconcile? Can she even be found or did she leave already?
2. Whether the pastor had neglected his wife leading up to her sin. Did he invert his priorities and therefore bring reproach on his family and the church?

Though I offer some possibilities, I must say that the vast majority of the time the pastor will need to step down from ministry. This may sound unfair to some, but for reasons already stated, it would be most glorifying to God for the man to attempt to reconcile his family.

What if the wife's sin is not adultery?

Perhaps the wife stole money or is guilty of continuous malevolent gossip. If this is unknown by her husband, then he is not responsible for her sin. I do not believe he should be forced to step down, but should lovingly rebuke his wife, hoping to restore her in light of Gal 6:1.

Obviously this is a very difficult question, with millions of possible scenarios and no direct application from scripture. The idea is to take biblical principles and apply them to the given situation. When that is done, it becomes clear that the family must be maintained first, and only then can the church be properly pastored.

(For the two of you who actually read all the way through this post, I commend you!)